Good, Good End

01/17/2013

Have you ever taken a trip down an unfamiliar and winding road, not knowing how much further away your destination will be? It seems like the miles go on and on forever. But when you turn around and head back in the other direction, somehow you swear the distance is half of what it seemed on the way there, because you now have a full understanding of where the journey was leading you.

Well, unfortunately sometimes life is an unfamiliar and long, hard road.

At this point in our story, Amanda and I have been dealing with the ugly truth of infertility for the better part of two-and-a-half years, or just about 900 days. That’s 900 fewer days of our lifetime we could be with our children, watching our legacy continue for another generation. 900 times we remember we are broken people in a broken world. 900 days where thoughts of fear, inadequacy and doubt worm their way into my brain. 900 reminders that ultimately no matter how long we’ve waited, no matter how hard we’ve prayed, or how long we’ve pleaded with God for a child, we still don’t have one. Yet.

But 900 days dealing with and being remind of our own physical brokenness are also 900 chances for God to remind us that He is where we should place our ultimate satisfaction and sense of fulfillment.

Some days it’s easier to remember this than others.

Talking about the long, hard road reminds me of the song “Good, Good End” by Waterdeep, from their album Heart Attack Time Machine.

Here’s the lyrics:

You can leave right now
You can ring a bell
You can tell ’em you think I ain’t doin’ too well
But when I stood like you
I eventually fell
So you can leave right now
Go on and ring your bell

I’m amazed by life
And it’s amazed by me
We’re a strange old pair- me and eternity
It don’t make good sense
It ain’t easy to see
But I’m amazed by life
And it’s amazed by me

It’s a long hard road
With a good, good end
And if I keep on walking on past the crooked bend
I will meet my Maker
I will meet my Friend
It’s a long hard road
With a good, good end”

I guess the point of this post is that I’m reminded that with all things, I need to begin with the end in mind.

So, regardless of whatever is around this next curve in our journey, I know where the road is leading.

It’s not been an easy conclusion to get here, but ultimately if all our feeble attempts at creating new life are unsuccessful, our life is still somehow valuable and I know that in all situations, God is good.